posted @ 21:40... "The hero is commonly the simplest and obscurest of men."
~Henry David Thoreau
Every once in a while, I get these little revelations. It usually happens when I'm driving around town delivering medical documents. And therefore forgotten by the time I get back to North Austin where my computer is. (Heaven forbid I actually use a pen & paper...!) Anyway, a revelation came today (Sunday) from none other than my pastor.
Here's the background: I've been playing drums at church, since, literally, the second week after we started attending church there. That makes it about two-and-a-half years. And for over a month now I have been singing too. I've never considered myself a singer, besides the noises that squeak and squawk from my throat as I zoom down Mopac. Oh, and the shower too. But sometimes, I can find the harmony in relation to the melody... and I did so enough times while playing the drums that they finally stuck a mike in front of me. Having never sung in front of people before, it's taken a lot of guts for me to even sing back-up while hiding behind a set of drums. But we have a secondary drummer who'll be playing drums next week. Ordinarily, I'd sit comfortably in the congregation. But they've asked me to sing back-up. Without drums to hide behind. That's a scary thought for me, but that's not the point...
My pastor mentioned that he saw increasing courage in me. I can think of just a few times in my life where people have noticed courage in me. After he asked if I had noticed it, I started thinking about different things that have happened in the past few months. I went to San Antonio and stripped down to my underwear with a bunch of other guys. I was fired from a job and felt great about it. Just last week, I hauled a fire hose up a ladder and stepped onto the top of a building, despite my fear of heights. I signed a life-changing contract and took an oath promising to obey the orders of the President. So, I say all this not to brag, like, "Ooh, check me out..." or something. These are just small things that seem to be building up to who I want to become.
I mentioned to my wife, the other day, that I was born to be a hero. Sounds silly, I know. But I've always felt that my life might be a waste of I don't end up doing something heroic. (It's like Simon Birch, except I'm not three feet tall, I'm a little older than twelve, and my parents actually care about me.) But heroism can be things other than the typical picture of a firefighter saving a victim, a soldier protecting our freedom, or a young man pulling kids from freezing water after a bus accident. I started thinking about who my heroes are. My dad has done what so many fathers don't do. As my siblings and I were growing up, not only was he simply "there," but he's always been involved in our lives. That alone is a heroic thing, especially nowadays when so many fathers simply don't care enough to be around - let alone be a dad to their kids. He's always earned a living and kept us fed & clothed, even when he didn't particularly enjoy the job he was doing. He taught me that "no" means "no," and that if I wanted something bad enough, I could work hard for it. I learned from him how to be a husband. And now, he's faithfully standing by my mom as she's waiting patiently for a liver transplant and fighting to keep her diabetes under control. He's my hero because he loves us and he loves my mom... and he proves it.
Oh, and if anyone out there wants to be a living liver donor, email me your blood type.
